Attack of the Fruit Flies

It seems some of my activities (or presumably of the roommate or her many cats) has brought on the undesirable and untenable infestation of fruit flies. They have successfully occupied the kitchen and are running regular sorties in the living room and I have caught long rang spy missions deep in my bedroom. For years we have suspected that the fruit fly population was preparing an attack on this humble abode, but this unprovoked and relentless assault on the dignity of this home is simply unacceptable.

Naturally, I have engaged in Total War vesus their population with complete and utter annihilation of the fruit flies as the only acceptable outcome. Even so, chemical and conventional means to eliminate this flying menace is falling short. This is a war we can't afford to lose.